So what if I've been seeing a therapist for a while I've done with assessment and I'm a couple months see in I'm thinking about just finishing what but my other question is is like what reasons do people have to stop therapy I am sure for some obvious ones like they feel better they're happy again we've got through what other reasons are there and what do you do?
Okay yeah there’s kind of two questions there. Let say the first one is suppose you have any you feels like you have any difficult time in counselling and you wonder I am not getting anymore one of the jobs therapist has to do is to try to reach you I mean by reach you is if I'm seeing a counsellor or therapist I want them I need them know this but I need them to kind of get standing so I stand in my shoes. I need my counsellor to understand something that is like to be me so if you are seeing a counsellor I'd ask yourself this question to what extent do I feel understood you might be you might be thinking of leaving because you feel too understood you feel like God this therapist spots everything I hate it. We all have parts aspects of ourselves we might think that’s not great. I don’t like you when I do that so this thing I am doing I am sure if everyone knew about they would not like me.
And if you go for a therapy the whole thing is that practitioner is trying to see all of you and let you know what they see which might feel uncomfortable. So ask yourself whether that's happening or is the therapist you are experiencing with is distinct. Well they that not even care.
Well my next question to you would be, have you talked about it to your therapist or your counsellor that might feel like a difficult thing to do but it's well I think I think before just leaving I think it's a good idea to if you at all can talk to your counsellor when I come here I don’t feel like you connect with me and see what he response is. Because it’s the therapy place the counseling is it's a relationship and it's within that relationship that change can take place and things can be explored so I mean ultimately if you feel like oh this this person's never going to understand me and that’s what I need maybe you do have to leave but it’s something that you have to discuss chew over together.
Your other question.
what’s the reasons people wanting to finish?
When should I end? People come to counselling for all sorts of lengths of time. Sometimes people comes for like just six weeks and they say great this is being very useful thing. Thank you very much. And then off they go but also lots of people come for few weeks and some also lots of people come for much much longer like two years, three years, and four years. I saw a therapist for six years which might feel for long time anyway there's a whole spectrum of length duration of the therapy. And also it's a complicated question because no one's ever completely sort of sorted, orderly, all resolved if you were kind of a vanilla person. Nothing left no more mess. So that something that makes difficult can make you like difficult decision.
Yeah someone just regular.
Like I don’t like the fact that I need him to get that therapy and after all I am doing a little bit of that so sometime people say I am leaving then don’t jump in straight away saying no you should not leave. We talk about it but you know ultimately if I feel very strongly about it I will say I might say something like yeah it’s great you made these changes so far but I just don’t get a feeling that it’s all done. I feel like there’s more that we could do here. Usually if usually starting to thinking a long lines anyway it’s the whole thing it’s very complex question. well I repeat something I say before whenever you feel like ending talk to your therapist and also my advice strong advice don’t end with a text or an email occasionally people do don’t end with email or a text because it’s a missed opportunity. Because the start of a relationship any relationship and the end of relationship is of very significant moments. how do we get together with someone how do we make friendships how do we end friendships do we drop people without telling them or how do we end their relationships with with romantic partners like sending the text you're dumped do we stop returning their calls and hope they get the message. It’s really it's really useful it's a great opportunity when we start to feel like ending with a therapist to discuss it and take more than one session.
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