Parenting issues: Often, parents can struggle to get their head around many issues in parenting that may, to the outside, seem obvious. When nurturing children, it’s easy for parents to fear the act of making a mistake more than the child themselves and thus making it hard for their child to grow through learning from failure. This is a common problem for parents, as they believe trying to ‘perfect’ their child could only lead to them having a better life.
As a parent, though, accepting that perfection is not only a myth but unwanted is very important. Children need to go through ups and downs, suffering disappointment as well as success, to grow into mature individuals.
For that, it’s important that parents can become more comfortable with the concept of the ‘perfect child’ not necessarily being a real thing.
If you were to look at your child and see them being disrespectful to others or otherwise being not quite as you had hoped, it’s easy to feel lost. Like your children are not turning out as you had hoped, and that if ‘only they were perfect’ then things at home or in the workplace would be better.
Once you lose the fantasy notion of the perfect child and accept that life happens to your child as well as yourself, it’s easier to simply be a parent. This takes time and development, though, and you need to accept that you are here to help your child grow, communicate and nurture within their own selves. You are not here to mould your child as you see fit, thus you cannot ‘fail’ if they are not ‘perfect’ by any definition.
You cannot force your child to take the path that you set out for them; accepting this brings a greater clarity and relief.
Unfortunately, just as you did, your child will go through hurt. They will have their ‘heart broken’ by their first love. They will fail at something eventually. They’ll meet someone that they cannot make friends with, and perhaps even become rivals against. It happens, and you merely need to be there to help them through these issues and safeguard them from the worst of the emotional damage.
You help your child to make choices by helping them see when their decision was a poor one. You don’t necessarily stop a poor decision; you help them see why it was poor and go from there. While a child might at the time feel like this is harsh or ‘tough love’ and that you should have done more, in later life it often leads to a happier, more balanced personality overall.
This is why, for many parents, the main challenge is overcoming the issue of perfection and utter harmony. It’s impossible, you merely need to be the best parent that you can be, not the perfect parent. You, too, will fail as a parent at times. The sooner that you accept that failure is a valuable lesson, not the end point. The sooner you can reduce many of your present parenting issues to an afterthought.